


Because of You

by J_Hwang



Series: Song Inspired [24]
Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Song Inspired, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:54:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22045189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Hwang/pseuds/J_Hwang
Summary: I promise myself, when I grow up I will not want to make the same mistake that you did. I will not let myself break the way you did.
Relationships: Lee Gahyeon/Lee Yoobin | Dami
Series: Song Inspired [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550344
Kudos: 13





	Because of You

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Kelly Clarkson - Because of You

Staring at the clothes scattered around the living rooms, empty bottles on the table, empty cans lying around the floor, I know it’s not going to be a good day. And just as I guess the screaming starts. It’s always like that, he will come back drunk and will start yelling. And then she will also yell back and there comes another fight. 

I walk passed by the messy living room, back to my room feeling tired and drained after a long day at school. I wish I could leave this hell hole, leaving all behind. But I am too young for that. Them yelling at each other is like a daily thing that is happening in my life. 

I promise myself, when I grow up I will not want to make the same mistake that you did. I will not let myself break the way you did. I have learned it the hard way and I will play on the safe side so I won’t get hurt. I am afraid to trust anyone, even myself. 

“Gahyeon, you need to stop locking yourself like that. Not everyone is like him, there sure is someone out there that loves you dearly, and will do anything but to hurt you.” 

My best friend, Yubin, the one that always stay by my side no matter how I try to drive her away. She stayed still, and I gave up on keeping her away. I just let her stay. She is the only person that I want to try to trust, and the only person that I open up to. 

Because of you, I forced myself to fake everything. Fake a smile, a laugh, and to hold my tears. I cannot cry, because that means I will show my weakness to the other. My heart can’t be broken more than it already is, because it wasn’t even whole to start with, it was never whole. 

I hear you crying at night after he left, he abandoned us. I know you are broken, you are dying, and you try to lean on me to bring you back. But mother, you know I was too young for you to lean on. I can’t do anything. You start to ordering me, telling me what I should and shouldn’t do, you try to manipulate me. But I won’t listen to that, because I know that is wrong, and that is not what I wanted to be. 

You never thought of everyone else, you only thought of your selfish self. Just because you are in pain you want the other to feel the same thing with you too. And now I am also suffering the same pain. I feel empty.

When I turned 18, I leave the house, move out and start anew. I try my best to forget everything that ever happened, but I am still holding this pain. I feel empty, I am ashamed of my life because I don’t know how to love, how to open up, how to be human. And it’s all because of you, because of you I am afraid of everything. Afraid of feelings.

But I know I am not all alone. I have Yubin by my side, she stayed and share my pain with me, listening to what I poured out to her, not commenting or even judging me. And because of her too, I want to try to learn to let someone in. Because of her, I want to try to open up. And also become of her, I am brave enough to start a new life, away from the misery you have caused. 

Leaving you behind is the best decision I had made. And I am not sorry for that mother. Because staying longer inside that house will only cause more misery in my life. So forgive my mother, because of you I have lost a lot of things in my life. And now I want to just be me. 

“Gahyeon, let’s go?” 

Yubin is calling her, leaning on the door frame stretching out her hand for Gahyeon to hold. Gahyeon looks at her, and at her stretched out her hand, she smiles. She stands up from her bed, walking toward Yubin and hold her hand tight. She is happy now, because she can finally escape the misery. Though the pain is still there, she learned to hold it and she learned from the mistake that her parents did. 

After years together, Gahyeon knows one thing. Yubin is not the same as her parents, she will not cause her more pain than her parents has caused. She will hold her dear and stay no matter what. She will love her, and treat her better than her parents ever did. And that is why Gahyeon also starting to learn to open up more to her, to try to let her in, try to love her the way she loves her. 


End file.
